all these fucking comics saying just “drop everything and do what you love, artists, cost is no object”, they never end, there’s so many of them
where is the comic that says “artists! make it easier to comfortably fund doing what you love by drawing dragons fucking on commission on furaffinity, eventually building up enough of a portfolio that you’re paying rent every single time you draw two fantasy monster dicks frotting furiously against each other”
A Fart in Queen Elizabeth’s Court
Edward De Vere, the 17th Earl of Oxford once accidentally farted in front of Queen Elizabeth I. Out of shame he went into exile for 7 years.
Upon his return the Queen welcomed him home and said, “My Lord, I had forgotten the fart.”
everyone watch this video of my dog gettin embarrassed that i caught him singin
i walk a lonely road the only one that i have ever known
there’s a boy at my school who keeps speaking in doge and asking me to suck his dick but on a completely related note, im dropping out
Day 7: Serious Face
The Fart Master —- Le Petomane, the Fartiste
In the later half of the 19th century a Frenchman named Joseph Pujol discovered he had a very bizarre talent. When he contracted and constricted his abdominal muscles he discovered he could intentionally suck air into his rectum. He could them expel the air resulting in a comical fart. While today many may look down upon such talent, Pujol’s special ability would make him one of the most famous superstars in Europe.
Pujol first began his act entertaining his fellow soldiers while in the army. After his military career he began performing in small clubs and saloons while operating a bakery in Mersailles. In 1887, at the age of 30 Pujol was invited to his first major performance. At first his talents were met with skepticism and scorn, the performance of a man farting might be seen as bit lowbrow among certain circles, but his fame quickly caught on and he began performing all over France. By 1892 he became a household name all over France, and was invited to perform regularly at the famous Moulin Rouge music hall were he took the stage name “Le Petomane, The Fartiste”. At the height of his career he was performing for kings, and made a very handsome 20,000 Francs a week.
A typical performance of Le Petomane would usually start with impersonations, where he would reproduce the fart of a newlywed woman, a large workingman, a timid young girl, a powerful emperor, as well as everyday sound effects. He would also blow out stage lights, smoke a cigarette through a tube inserted into his rectum, or blow wind so hard it would rustle stage curtains. For his grand finale would insert a flute or ocarina into his bum and play famous songs, such a “O Sole Mio”. One might ask, wouldn’t Le Petomane be an especially smelly performance? Mr. Pujol was an expert professional who irrigated his colon daily to prevent such an occurrence.
After performing at the Moulin Rouge for four years, Pujol fell into dispute with the owners and quit. He founded his own theater company and continued to perform until World War I. Unfortunately the story of “The Fartiste” ends on a sour note. During the war his two sons were badly injured in combat and left disabled. Pujol fell into a deep depression, so much so that he could never perform again. He retired to the life of baker, passing away in 1945 at the age of 88.